How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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