you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
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