No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
