Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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