my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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