perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Are these your boobs on my camera?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
