WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
