so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
They took my balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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