In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Farmville is her only friend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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