I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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