what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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