I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
