White coat. Heels.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
