life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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