Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
