the condom got lost in my hair
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
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I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
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He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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