He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
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Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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