is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
