Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He shit in the fireplace
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
