Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
