He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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