maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
