Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Fuck appropriateness.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
