We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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