belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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