This is not my ceiling
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
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