Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
