buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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