Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
