Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I will pee on everything he values.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
