Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
