Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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