Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
