WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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