Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
