i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
They have beer where we have blood.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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