Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
