Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
