He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
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