opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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