I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
