He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
