Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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