Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
