So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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