HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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