Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize