I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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