well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize