the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Randomize
