You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
