Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
