I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
