im drinking this country out of the recession.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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