Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
