so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
